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席越:中国女人都懂邓文迪法则 [复制链接]

发表于 2014-4-20 22:02:07 |显示全部楼层
人们成长的环境和童年,总是在以后的人生中时隐时现,并成为很多问题预先陈设的答案。
…………………………



从邓文迪嫁给默多克的那一天起,她在媒体上就没得到过什么友善。1999年她结婚,《北京青年报》用了一整版来报道她的故事,最恶毒的不是曾经怎样当小三拿到美国绿卡,而是她在香港星空办公室喜欢穿紧身牛仔裤,并常到高层办公室里主动聊天。

2000年,《华尔街日报》刊登了一篇关于她的4000字的头版报道,不但挖出她的陈年情史,还到中国采访了她的邻居和同学……
唯一的例外是2011年,她保护老丈夫掀出带动新闻集团(默多克的集团)股票上涨5%的一掌,那一掌据说几乎让所有人开始相信她也许真有爱情。“那一次让她扭转了一切。”

前几天,默多克接受《财富》专访时证实了她和布莱尔的婚外情是离婚的直接原因。默多克的证词据说有部分是来自他加州农场的佣人们,媒体引用被他们解雇的一名家庭教师的话“佣人们没有一个不恨她,不怕她”。

她现在比嫁给媒体大亨时更加让人出离愤怒了, 红杏出墙、小气而粗俗、很凶很招人恨,还殴打老人(老默80多岁了)……加上中国女作家对她的声讨:她年轻时尚为好看,现在面目狰狞。

就像当年那些有“作风问题”的女子,每个人都有资格兴致勃勃发现些新的不好 。千般万般地不好,就是她可以那么风光地在那些令人艳慕的男人们身边游走,而且趾高气扬不知检点。比起吃了亏还低眉顺目说“且行且珍惜”的女子,她简直就是一个利益熏心,无情无意的坏女人。

为什么没有人把邓文迪离婚当成一个女人单纯的爱情事件?也许所有的错综复杂都是芸芸众人自我纠结的表象,而真正的原因却是最简单的爱情。
在一个女人年轻时,她会被智慧、权力、名望所征服,那向上仰望的崇拜也是爱情中的一种;当她温饱不愁拥有一切时,她可能会深陷于爱情的化学反应:“他如此迷人,衣着非常得体。他的身材很好,双腿很长、臀部也很棒……他高高瘦瘦、皮肤很好,我爱他的蓝眼睛……”
在默多克接受采访并证实遭受背叛时,证明了他对邓文迪的感情深刻而真实。离婚消息刚刚放出时,各种渠道已经旗帜鲜明地指向绯闻男女,不要忘了默多克掌控的是多么庞大的媒体集团,绯闻新闻是集团操纵的特长。
一段时间之后,他甚至不惜亲口承认,遭受背叛——这是多少要面子的男人打死也不会做的事情。但他要做,或者是满腹委屈,或者就是公开声明——你看是你们负了我。然后,他高调购买豪宅,证明自己过得很好。这一系列动作,都像一个失了恋的年轻人。
“他 肯定深爱过邓文迪。”熟悉老默的人这么说。在邓文迪当年已经是他的情人的情况下,老默怎样毅然和已经分居很久但和平相处的前妻离婚。为此,他不但要付出大 笔金钱还要面对这个解体他的传媒帝国的震撼,因为他和前妻的孩子已经长大成人并在集团中各掌一方天地。朋友们要适应老默有些不自然的染发,Prada西装 和健身计划,这些都让他看起来像个在爱情中发烧的男人。据他的传媒集团的一个中国员工说,有一次默多克飞了15个小时到达中国,第一件事情就是交给下属一 份邓文迪要他在中国购买的清单,上面是中国的一些特产和零食。
既不美貌,德性又不能服人,难道真的是像美国畅销书的书名《坏女人有人爱》(Why men love bitches)吗?从那些媒体公开渲染的故事看,邓文迪似乎也从来没有想扮演一个好女人,掩饰自己的个性。她目标明确,意志坚决,而且连她自己都说自己“非常努力”。

“虎 妈”蔡美儿(《虎妈战歌》(Battle Hymn of the Tiger  Mother)的作者)和邓文迪谈到自己受到的攻击,邓文迪说:“你为什么要在乎别人怎么想呢?你有两个优秀的女儿。由它去吧。”  这是只计结果,其他旁枝错节忽略不计的风格,让她在过去的岁月对批评和负面新闻刀枪不入。
哈佛和很多商学院在选择自己的学生时,非常在意他们过去的行为路线。因为他们认为,大部分人走不出自己的行为模式,即使受过很专业的训练之后,人对未来事件的判断和做法和他过去的判断和做法,大体遵循同一路径。

不知道当年耶鲁商学院面试邓文迪的老师们对她如何判断,依《华尔街时报》的2000年文章,邓文迪第一次婚姻是小三,这次婚姻才4个月的时候,她又有了新的男朋友……那么,她这次出轨布莱尔,大家真很吃惊吗?

让我不厚道地提醒一句,默多克80多岁了,他们相差近40岁吧?选布莱尔出轨也是算很有眼光,他比老默确实帅多了。
人们成长的环境和童年,总是在以后的人生中时隐时现,并成为很多问题预先陈设的答案。当媒体抨击邓文迪的投机、用尽心机和手段、嫁入豪门却一场空,我却为邓文迪不平——她不过是一直在做自己

她也许一直知道自己要什么,也一直在为同一个目标努力。无论她对各种社交圈朋友的慷慨热情,还是对佣人的小气和不友善,都是她从小学会的自我生存法则。

我们难道不是从小就被大人们言传身教,对重要人物的阿谀奉承、对身份低微的人物的忽视和不尊重。她在家里对老默的白眼和训斥,也是我们一直以来对最亲近的家人的无遮无掩、不懂感恩和珍惜。而她身上一直追求优秀,严格自律的种种动力,则淌着我们中国式家庭教育的血液。
媒体对她的格外苛求,是不是正是基于这种理解。她的投机、她的要强、她永远向着高枝而飞、她的手段……你真的敢说自己一点没有?
或多或少,每个中国女子心中都有一个“邓文迪”。
罗曼·罗兰说过,世界上只有一个真理,就是忠于人生,并且爱它。
邓文迪是不可能忠于默多克的人生的,她好像更忠于自己。

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