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宅家的婚变 且行且珍惜!

2020-6-30 07:01| 发布者: Mary| 查看: 1247| 评论: 0|原作者: 九儿

摘要: 宅家的婚变 今年的疫情打乱了所有人的工作和学习,所有的事情都被按下了暂停键,于是加拿大服务行业以及娱乐休闲场所都关闭了,大多数人们都自觉遵守政府下令的呆在家里。 上班的人群大部分都在家工作,一家人难得 ...
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 宅家的婚变 且行且珍惜!

      今年的疫情打乱了所有人的工作和学习,所有的事情都被按下了暂停键,于是加拿大服务行业以及娱乐休闲场所都关闭了,大多数人们都自觉遵守政府下令的呆在家里。      
      上班的人群大部分都在家工作,一家人难得相处的时间变多变长,除疫情这件事性质本身不说,对长期正常上下班家庭来说,夫妻可以多点相伴,相对而言应该不算是完全坏事。可将家里以前想做又没时间做的事做了。如在花园里种植点新花草,家里也可以重新布置规整一下,顺便提高厨艺烹饪等........
       万万没想到的是,因为夫妻相处时间太多太近,矛盾也就随之而来。接二连三听到好几对恩爱夫妻,因为生活中的种种琐事,吵的不亦乐乎的....也有为意见不一致,为丁点小事无限扩大,夫妻彼此将对方透明的,视而不见冷战数日的.......。有为小事喋喋不休数落不断,而将对方气走,离家出门独自在大街上闲逛徘徊的......。
      昨日午夜12点都,家里电话铃声大响,怕吵醒家人,睡梦中的我,迷迷糊糊立即抓起电话,好友"丽"在电话里对我大声哭诉着她和她丈夫吵架经过,并告诉我,等疫情结束就会直接去办理离婚手续。

       听到此我的睡意全无......

      "丽",她美丽聪慧,能歌善舞,勤俭持家,她丈夫以前在异地工作,才回到多伦多工作不到一年。看起来温文尔雅,对朋友们也还客气礼貌 。在我印象里,他们是一对患难与共的夫妻呀!
      "丽",生了两个如花似玉的女儿。前些年,丈夫在外地工作,女儿们生下来,她没有享受中国人的坐月子,由于对孩子们的喜爱,听说母乳营养对小孩生长最好,于是两个孩子全程都是母乳喂养,对于爱美的"丽"来说,是很不容易的了 ,孩子们母乳喂养都是到一岁以后才结束。在两个女儿成长过程中,没有请过保姆,也没有任何亲人们帮手的情况下,她独自一人将女儿们养大。不用质疑她是一个非常能干,贤惠的好女人。
       对女儿们的情感,她除了母亲爱孩子的天性外,照顾孩子也非常细致。为了怕小朋友之间相互感冒传染,心痛她们生病,一天都没舍得送去幼儿园,天天在家把他们带大。教她们懂礼貌;教会她们做人要善良;也教育她们为人不要自私,学会大气。因此这两个小姑娘从小就比别的小朋友懂事乖巧。吃什么东西,好的总是给别人,自己拿最小的 。好友和我悄悄小试过几次,不管大人是否在她们身旁看着,孩子们无论先拿还是后拿,都是拿最小最差的。可见我好友”丽”教子有方呀!对丈夫也是更加的无微不至,每次我们一起去商场,“丽”总是先去到男装部,认真为丈夫挑选服装。任何好东西都要留着丈夫回来才吃。

        当孩子们快到读书的年级,“丽”就教他们阿拉伯数字,从1到100的读写。26个英文字母,和加减乘法,以及中国的九九乘法表,也教孩子们学会。
        孩子们上学读书后,听说吃过夜饭不好,无论是严冬还是夏日,“丽”都会早早起床给孩子们做新鲜的饭菜,要么亲自送去,要么早上孩子带走。
     
        现在一家人好不容易在一起了,怎么还要离婚了呢?原来导火线是:他丈夫要给自己的父亲打电话,也叫妻子讲几句,当时"丽"在做家务,加之也担心哪句话讲错了不如丈夫意,放下电话后又要挨骂。从内心来说她不是很想去讲这个电话,于是脚步就慢了半拍。放下电话后的丈夫就在那里絮絮叨叨,"丽"实在是忍无可忍顶了几句,控制欲极强的丈夫那里受得了,于是十分生气!又吵又闹!最后甩门而出。他们像这样的吵闹,我也听说过数次。以前他们家有男客人到访,她丈夫动不动就说这个男士盯着妻子看,是否有意思?如果丈夫回到家,只要妻子电话响,他马上就不高兴,如果"丽"接听了电话,他就会火冒三丈,大吵一架。说:"我回到家,你的世界里应该全部只有我"........。

       知道这一切后,作为好友的我翻来覆去,辗转难眠。是劝和还是劝散呢?中国有一句古话:"宁可撤一座庙宇,不撤散一段婚姻"。离异家庭对孩子来说肯定是有伤害。不过吵吵闹闹的家庭关系,也会让孩子们更紧张,脾气变得暴躁,同时父母的婚姻不好,也将会影响下一代的婚姻观念其一身。
       清官难断家务事,我也不好说他们夫妻应该怎样,疫情期间夫妻都处一个空间,矛盾、丑陋都暴露出来,所以我认为夫妻关系就是爱+亲情+知己关系,有什么事就应该心平气和的去解决。不应该动不动就发脾气。家不是讲道理的地方,要讲道理只有去法院讲。谁也不是谁的从属关系,家应该是讲爱,讲情的地方。否则家就变成了冷冰冰的房子。都这么大的岁数了,夫妻之间谁要去改变谁都是不可能,只有从自己做起,改变自己去适应对方。更不是发脾气去吓唬对方。靠发脾气去解决问题是弱者表现,其内心也相当的脆弱,非常的不自信,以为提高声音就可以去征服对方。这样不但伤了感情,还毁了家。真是可悲可叹呀!

   
生命如此之短,明天又是那么美好。亲爱的朋友们!且行且珍惜吧!



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